As this web page evolves (while it's deciding what to be) I'm leaning toward a focus on mental and spiritual health as much as the process of creating music. For me these things are very much entwined. I'm wanting to write about matters of the heart, struggles, and victories alongside sharing creative thoughts and resources.
My daughter and I were talking about songs we liked earlier today and we found it amusing that we both enjoyed heavy, angry sounding music. For us it's comforting to be immersed in a beautiful, human expression of angst and heartache carefully placed in a pleasant rhythmic arrangement, knowing the artist must have experienced the same pain and frustration we often feel. For a short time we feel less alone, like we're crying out in agreement as a group. This is very therapeutic. That's very similar to what I'm trying to achieve with this blog.
I started doubting myself again earlier in the week. Maybe this blog was a mistake. It's still not well defined, even to me, what the goal is. It's possible the subjects are too scattered and maybe it will seem like nothing more than a bunch of self pity. I seriously don't want that. I want it to be more like a song.... a moment of human expression that someone else can relate to and feel less alone.
So let me share another failure, but also a few victories. I still have not recorded myself live on video. Still not there! I'm working out some bugs with equipment and perfecting a few things so I can have something really worth sharing. I guess I don't want to throw just anything out there, so it will take me longer. Not to mention, I still fear the camera. But I WILL get there. Really! And my victories since last posting are: 1) learning more about music production, 2) getting some of my original songs more polished, and 3) creating a new instrumental arrangement that I will later write lyrics and melody for. It's good for someone like me, who tends to focus on too much negative, to list things I HAVE accomplished. Sometimes I do it daily, sometimes weekly.
I also have to say a big thank you to my husband. Without him all things electronic in my life would not be half of what they are. These days, we absolutely need computers and electronics to make music and share music. (Or at least, it gives us a huge advantage.) This photo is him installing a new computer for me. He is the tech pro in my life that can fix anything and help set up everything I will ever need. If it's computer related or plugs into a wall he knows how to make it work. Thank you Mike!
To conclude, let me explain a bit more of what I said in the first sentence of this post. I have felt led for a long time to raise a greater awareness of mental health issues. I was just never sure how to do it. I mean, I've given a few testimonies about my personal journey with depression and anxiety in various churches I've played at in past years, and voiced certain things to friends and family. It's also apparent in some of my songs that this is a very real part of my journey. But this blog might be a great place to address this matter on a deeper level. I hope so. I would really like to help others who struggle in this area. So, if any this interests you or makes you feel less alone ....stay tuned. Also, feel free to comment.
