I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for the love and support regarding the creation of this blog and my first post. Those bursts of encouragement are treasures I hope to give back tenfold. I received some wonderful comments privately from people close to me, some on Facebook and one here in the comment section. (What do you know, I included a comment section and didn't even know it....of which I'm glad.) I just haven't figured out how to comment on the comment yet. I'm sure it's something simple I'm just not seeing yet. Again, learning as I go.
I will say, some people reading this are probably very confused. I'm pretty open with my closest friends and trust them wholeheartedly. But at times, when I've beaten myself internally to a pulp, I even withdraw from them. And some will say, what is she talking about? She puts her music out there, she leads worship at church, she has a business and other websites, etc. She shows up for work. She has a family, a church, a group of great friends. The crazy thing is, everything that has involved putting myself in front of people beyond day to day niceties and routines, for the most part, has only been accomplished after much prayer and thinking through. The act of moving these things forward happens while fighting off armies of negative voices. I know everyone struggles with a certain amount of this. Maybe I'm just extra weak in this area. And I hate this about myself. I've worked hard to overcome it and will continue to do so. Until then I can only rely on God as my strength. I can honesty say He has made all the things that people say are "good" about me possible, especially the things that involve gifts or talents. Without His presence within me I am nothing.
A friend asked if I produced the music posted here, and if so, how? Well the answer is yes, I did. The beauty of this kind of music is a lot of it these days is created using loops and samples. I'm currently using a DAW called Acid Pro 9. Acid Pro 10 is the most updated version. But some of these were created at Bandlab.com. I'll be adding new material, as I go....hopefully often. I'll still be doing singer-songwriter stuff too, but this another way to express myself. I love the idea that these songs could be used to help tell a story, in film, tv, or otherwise.
This same friend also asked how I thought of the name for this blog. It really did come to me while I was praying for direction, as I've been feeling really stuck. There's also a bible verse that always speaks to me. It's Matthew 5:15 -Â No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house.
As someone who is more comfortable in the shadows I need reminded of this often. Still, those negative voices I mentioned before keep yelling at me ....all of this is stupid, and people may not like it....etc, etc. But if it helps anyone....even one, it's worthwhile. And even if no one reads it, it's helping me get unstuck.
